


we were supposed to be (an empire)

by princessmiakitten



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Pining, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-09
Updated: 2015-07-09
Packaged: 2018-04-08 11:06:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4302417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princessmiakitten/pseuds/princessmiakitten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hajime watched as Tooru grew as a person, grew in his mind and his heart. He grew as a captain, and Hajime watched as Tooru led the team to be a top-tier team.</p>
<p>Tooru was building an empire, and Hajime was by his side through it all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	we were supposed to be (an empire)

**Author's Note:**

> im sorry  
> please listen to [this song](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRC6NEdSLIA) and cry with me

The first time Hajime noticed it was in middle school, the way that Tooru looked at Ushijima Wakatoshi.

Burgundy eyes with a fire lit in them, with a passion triggered by the loss of a middle school volleyball tournament. Eyes that were bloodshot from crying, eyes that held so much pain for what had passed, that held so much regret for not trying even a little bit harder.

Hajime didn't notice that back then, the only thing on his mind being how to get Tooru to stand on his own again, to get his fingers untangled from the rope of the net that separated them from the other team.

Not noticing it, not thinking about it-- That was probably Hajime's first mistake.

And that was his own fault. No one to blame but himself.

He never thought that the fire was anything more than Tooru being Tooru, never thought it was anything more than his innate competitiveness that Hajime was subject to experiencing throughout childhood. A competitiveness that he was so familiar with, that brought him back to days where Tooru would always make sure he'd name the most things or catch the most bugs.

That competitiveness was what Hajime had fallen in love with. That drive to always do better, be better.

More importantly, it was the smile that followed after accomplishing his goals that made Hajime fall. A smile that was as bright as the stars, full of pride.

It was that smile that Hajime would do anything for, but that's not the smile he received after being defeated by Shiratorizawa in middle school. He didn't receive anything but a crying Tooru in his arms the night of, and his heart ached.

But Tooru was resilient, and the fire in his eyes sparking as he moved on to high school, Hajime following him.

He would follow Tooru to the ends of the Earth, if that's what he wanted.

Hajime watched as Tooru grew as a person, grew in his mind and his heart. He grew as a captain, and Hajime watched as Tooru led the team to be a top-tier team.

Tooru was building an empire, and Hajime was by his side through it all.

He should've watched closer, though.

He should've watched Tooru as the fire in his eyes became a fire that burned throughout his entire body, a fire that kept his blood boiling for a chance at vengeance.

The warning signs were all there. The way Tooru always pushed himself after practice, stayed in the gym well into the night. The way he never slept the night before a match so he could watch tapes of the team playing, to watch for any cracks that he would be able to wedge through.

Hajime chalked it up to Tooru's competitiveness, but he never should've let it get out of control.

And here he stands, in the Sendai gymnasium, his jersey drenched with sweat and his chest heaving. Here he stands, in a scenario that brought him back to three years prior.

Him and Tooru against Shiratorizawa, against Ushijima Wakatoshi.

Hajime watches Tooru, watches the way he's poised to set, eyes flicking between the scoreboard and the ball. His stance was off kilter, uneasy, and Hajime could tell it was the tension getting to him.

But Hajime would be damned if he ever let Tooru down, if he ever did anything that would crush Tooru's dreams of Aoba Johsai being an empire.

"Toss me the ball, Shittykawa!" Hajime yells and that seems to snap Tooru right back to where he needed to be. Here. In the game.

He had to get his head in the game.

And that's exactly what Tooru needed.

He grins as he tosses the ball to where Hajime liked it best, confident and without any more hesitation, and Hajime didn't let him down. He slams it down, watches as it falls right to the ground alongside the boundary line.

And it's enough, for now. Seeing the score back to being matched.

But it's short lived. Ushijima Wakatoshi is a tough person to beat, and it seems like he had the same fire in his eyes that Tooru did, the same drive.

It ends the same as it did three years prior, with Seijou taking one and Shiratorizawa taking two out of the three sets.

It ends the same as it did three years prior, but Tooru doesn't cry this time. He doesn't cry-- he has to take care of the team. He doesn't cry in the locker rooms or on the way home.

He does cry at night, in Hajime's arms, in Hajime's bed, and it hurts. It hurts more than actually losing the tournament, the fact that Tooru is sobbing so brokenly. And he has every right to feel broken-- to put so much passion, so much time, so much energy into something and just letting it go to waste...

To let their empire fall...

It was enough to crush anyone, really.

Hajime doesn't offer any words of comfort and just lies there with Tooru until his eyes are all dried up, until he falls asleep curled up against Hajime.

"I love you, Tooru." Hajime whispers into Tooru's hair, and lets himself drift off with a heavy heart.

The fire's back in Tooru's eyes the week after, and Hajime makes the mistake to chalk it up to his resiliency. Always making mistakes. Always thinking he knows Tooru better than Tooru knows himself.

And in most cases, it's true. He always remembers Tooru's little quirks and knows each nook and cranny of that brain.

Except for the fact that Ushijima is the reason the fire is back in his eyes, the reason Tooru is all heated up. The reason Tooru has a renewed energy to do everything instead of staying crushed by defeat.

Tooru seldom talks to the volleyball team after bowing out. He pulls away from Hajime a little as well, but he wasn't about to question it if Tooru needed a little space. That was always the way their friendship worked.

He finds about Ushijima two months after the match, the day before graduation.

Hajime really only goes into the gym to get his things-- call it separation anxiety, to part with the place he's practically lived in for the past three years. He doesn't notice right away, too busy with trying to choke back feelings of sadness that comes with leaving.

But he sees him, sees the familiar undercut of that weirdly colored hair. He sees the broad back, and the only thing he can think is: what the fuck is he doing here?

Hajime's question doesn't go unanswered for long.

He can only see Ushijima's back, but he can see Tooru's hand, those fingers that he's spent so much time watching for signals, looking for little cuts and bruises growing up, curled around those shoulders. He can hear Tooru's laugh, the warm one that makes Hajime's heart stop beating for a few moments because it's only ever around Hajime that he laughs like that.

He watches as Ushijima leans down, and Tooru's not laughing anymore.

And all he can do is stand there, in the gym where he spent so much time with Tooru, where he realized he was in love with Tooru, and watch as he's kissed by the person who made him cry himself to sleep.

And maybe the fire that was burning in Tooru was never really for competition. It was a passion that only Ushijima could bring out in him.

Hajime realizes the empire that was supposed to be theirs was never really his in the first place.


End file.
